Why coaching is a journey, not a one-off quick fix: Lessons from handstand practice
The mats were laid out on the floor. The teacher smiled at us. 10 nervous students were looking back at him. I was excited to learn how to do a (wall-free) handstand.
For the first hour, he taught the basics of how to approach learning a (wall-free) handstand. From warming up your wrists to the positioning and the step-by-step process to building up to a full handstand.
The second hour was practice. It was my turn. The teacher was positioned to the left of me. He had his hand stretched out so I won't fall over. The instruction was simple: Get your legs above your head.
I went into position. Hands down, head down…. I started swinging my legs. With every swing, I could feel my legs' momentum. Equally, I felt panic rising. My whole body and brain screamed: No, no, no, don't go any further! I'm pretty sure I screamed. The feeling was visceral. My body was in full-fledged panic mode.
I couldn't do it. No matter the coaxing and support, I was too afraid.
It was clear to me that this would be a process. Not only a process of the mechanics of learning to do a handstand but also one of inner practice.
Two years later, can I do a handstand? No. I haven't practised at home or signed up for another class. I still want to, but I am not making any progress here. It's not important enough for me.
What has this to do with coaching?
Clients come to me with ambitious career transition goals. Often, they've hit a point of low confidence, hit a wall, don't know where to turn next or need accountability to get out of their head and make it happen.
My clients are intelligent, capable and ambitious. But here's the thing: The problems I help clients solve often have a different root cause than they initially thought. It's a weed that grows in a place where it shouldn't be. I work with them on removing that weed.
(For background on how I do this, check out "The 9 influences of how I coach").
It's similar to my experience in the handstand practice: I initially thought I just had to learn the mechanics of it until I realised that I had to retrain my brain to understand I was going to be safe.
I work with clients on building their capacity and skills to bring about a change they've often thought very long and hard about.
And this, as is learning to do a handstand, is not one one-session process. Hence, I've a minimum commitment (of at least 3 months) to working with me.
By committing to a coaching journey, you're committing to change. You're committing to making this a priority now.
I still can't do a handstand. The workshop I did was 2 years ago. Do I want to do a handstand? Yes! But I've not made any progress on it since. I might/will one day. But I know it's not a priority right now. By not signing up to another handstand workshop, I make a choice.
You have the same choice with your career goals. Do you want to make progress in the next few months/this year? Then, I invite you to consider coaching with me.
What do you get in return for committing to a coaching journey?
Achieving my goal, you say. Of course! Many of my clients secure jobs by the end of working with me. Others take a career pivot in a completely new direction. And others, again, make progress towards their business goals. (Check out my client case studies)
The results you achieve by the end of coaching depend on four factors:
The clarity about your future destination at the start of coaching;
The gap between your experience, skills and strengths vs. the destination;
The strength of your inner skills to support you in bringing about the change;
Your bias towards action during coaching.
But to achieve your goals, you likely also need some of these things:
Vision: Most of my clients need help clarifying what they want. Often, their challenges aren't mechanical. They are struggling with even having a sense of what direction to move, what feels good to them, what's a 'yes' and what's a 'no'.
Focus: Our lives are overwhelming these days. We have so much on. We need help focusing on what matters now and in 1, 3 or 5 years.
Tools: Sometimes, these are practical tools to help you progress towards your goals. Sometimes, these are inner practices.
Structure: We all need a step-by-step process to avoid the overwhelm of implementing all these new ideas. We want well-designed habits and human accountability to stick to these habits. Coaching helps you design better habits, implement an accountability system, and stick with the journey of change.
Feedback: You might want (or need) honest and helpful feedback and reflections on where you are and how you're doing in implementing these new approaches so you don't go too far off track in your efforts.
Cheerleading: Sometimes, we need someone who can say, "You're doing great! Keep going!" when we feel like giving up.
Permission: You need someone to tell you: Yes, you can do this. And you deserve this. You need permission to dream big, think it is possible and believe it can happen.
Time: We want space in our schedule, yes. But we also wish to see results, and that takes some time.
And above all, my clients want handholding. They want my reflections, intuitions, instincts and questions. They want my guidance. They want an expert, outside eye on their situation who can assess how it's going and where their blind spots are.
And that's why my coaching has a minimum term.
My coaching isn't for you if you don't need any of the above things.
But if you do, book your 45-minute free discovery call to discuss how I can help you with your challenge.
